Couple of stories about being cold and other disasters...
Saw a post about winter thermal clothes on Ozbiker .org and it reminded me of a couple of cold rides.....mind you coming from Wellington in NZ ,where 30 years ago a warm day was 18celsius I must be getting used to the Australian climate finally...
First one was 12 odd years ago when everyone was going to Tassie for a week. Becos of my work commitments I went as far as some river in southern Victoria , then headed north alone back to Sydney. The quickest route on the map was dead north to Cooma, then Canberra and home, so after push starting the bike whos battery didnt like the -2 overnight temperatures ventured off. Beautiful country but the sealed road didnt last long, and from memory I spent an hour or 2 on a dirt road. Fortunately it wasnt wet, and progress wasnt too slow. However I was rising up the country as I went and the closer I go to Cooma ,which isnt quite the snowfields, but close enough, the colder I got. By the time I arrived around 10am I was f***ing freezing and had no more clothes to put on. I managed to buy some sort of mask at an overpriced ski shop and shivered off towards Canberra. They day not being unpleasant enough ,as Im arriving in Queanbeyan my rear belt decided to start losing teeth. (Caused by a certain major dealer in Sydney overtightening them at services/tyre refits I believe..)
Cooma in winter....
Limped into town and saw Id lost around 1/3 of the teeth and realised I wasnt gonna make the last 300kms..So it was on the phone to the nearest and dearest to borrow a trailer from my bro in law and come and rescue me. Only had to wait 4 hours on the side of the road....
Second one was 5 odd years ago. Purga in south east Queensland for the weekend yeeha! 3 days camping, rock, drinking .Dirt dragged my bike, and had let some air out of the rear tyre, so at 11am Sunday, 1 hour before our appointed departure, and 8 odd hours since Id had a drink , took off to the gas station alone to top up the air in the tyre. oh good..cop with breathalyser near the gate to the main road...No worries mate thinks me! I blow in the straw and wait..... .08 shit! Double shit actually.have ta find somewhere ta push the bike out of sight from the road as Im arrested and about to be transported to the local school theyre using for a "command post" just for us. No phone service so I cant tell anyone...Push the bike behind an old shed, lock 'er up and pray..
Up at the school the cops are ok and make me sit and wait a while b4 they analyise my breath. By the time they take the sample Im down to .053. Shit again, just over! What happens now? Court Tuesday Im told ,cos its a public holiday tomorrow. And Im auto disqualified from driving for 24 hrs...Wonderful. Start walking the mile or so back to Purga. Fortunately a mate heading back to Brissy sees me and picks me up and takes me back to my bike. Theres no cops here now, but its a bit of a risk jumping back on the bike seeing Im disqualified at the moment. No choice tho, aint leaving it here in the bush any longer, jump on and ride back into Purga. Good news! the boys have all left for Sydney, and trying to be helpful ( I hope!)have taken my gear with them. My gear consisting of my leather jacket and wet weather gear and t shirts etc that was in my bag in the tent we had....
Now its hot as at Purga, but its a long way to Sydney and the forecast is rain all week.So if I stay and go to court Tuesday, its along ride home with no leather jacket. Not being small, not much chance of borrowing one that'll fit...No money to buy another one. hmm. Decide the best option is to try and catch the boys who Im now an hour behind, blow off the court date for now, and get my solicitor in Sydney to sort it out. So I jump on the bike and take off. Its about 200kms to the border with NSW, and I poop myself the whole way waiting to be stopped and arrested. Breathe a sigh of relief when I cross that border..(tho its bloody hard to tell exactly where it is....)
Stop for gas and ring the boys ,but they must be riding ,no answer from anyone, and of course this is the one trip without a backup wagon...Continue on my merry way down the New England Highway.From about 35deg at Purga as I enter NSW its getting progressively cooler, and Im in a singlet and vest...Fingers start freezing, so its out with the spare socks Ive still got with me in the saddlebags. Course they gotta be white.. not too many towns tho, so f*** what it looks like . Nother hour or so and its seriously chilly. Stop and have a coffee, thaw out ,try the phone again. still no luck. Its so cold I find I cant do more than about 80kms/hr without serious risk of shivering right off the bike.(theres some story aout me using undies for a mask at this stage but I refuse to confirm or deny...)Im now stopping every 20 minutes or so to try and rub some feeling back into my fingers. A cop pulls up behind me while Im riding and sits there for 5 minutes probably not believing how slow Im going, passes me and f's off eventually, then roars back the other way and sits behind me again, before f ing off for good. I pull into Glen Innes (the coldest place in NSW) about 5 oclock, and thankyou God, its now starting to rain... I dont think Ill ever regain feeling in my face or torso.Still no luck on the phone. Ask some locals if theyve seen bikes go thru, and yes, about an hour ago. They must be stopping in Armidale the night bout 100kms down the road,so I sit and wait at a gas station and keep trying the phones.
Finally get someone.....yeehaa! Theyre sending back a recruit with my gear, Seeing its an hour and pissing down, I decide to try and meet him half way to minimize the pain for both of us. Big ugly bastard he is, but jees I was happy to see him, some thoughtful soul had lent me some leggings too,so the last 40 minutes were slightly less unpleasant than the previous 5 hours.
Thats not to say it was great tho...that road between Glen Innes and Armidale at night in the rain on the bike is diabolical...I hope I never do it again.
Back in Sydney, after the second half of the trip being in a downpour from start to finish, I lazily ring my solicitor on Wednesday and appraise him of the situation.
He rings me back and gives me the good news. Im now guilty of "failing to appear" and if I get the wrong magistrate in Ipswich, I might get a months jail! However he's arranged for another solicitor to look into it for me up there, and I'm booked into court for the following Friday.The next Thursday I pack my toothbrush, and enlisting the help of a mate to bring my truck back should I be incarcerated, head back up my favorite road in the whole world... We get about 2 hours out of Sydney before my ears start bleeding. Christ this guy can talk!
Course he says the same about me.....10hrs later we pull into a motel in Ipswich and bed down after a meal. Next morning I present my best dressed self to the watchhouse. The friendly lady cop takes pity on me and lets me sit in the office for an hour before sending me upstairs to be locked up and wait to be transported the 100 yds to the court. Why the f** I couldnta just gone to court I'll never know. However, handcuffed and behind a plexiglass screen, like the dangerous criminal I am, Im presented to the Magistrate. Fortunately due to clever work by my solicitor it aint the reputed hanging judge of the area, and I recieve a $100 fine and a months disqualification, which never showed on my NSW license...so it coulda been a lot worse.