RTA Blues

Quite a few years ago I went to renew my licence at the RTA and they inform me I owe $1050 worth of fines..!!! WTF for I ask and they give me a printout. Now there's about 10 fines on this list...it looked like 1 or two might be mine but there were definitely at least 3/4 of them I'd never heard of or seen before, and I'd had no notices that anything was late or owed. What may have complicated things was that I was running a few vans and had guys driving them, but they reckoned they hadn't had any tickets either. So I file a 120Y application, I think it was, that means Ill contest these fines in court, but basically I'm without a proper license until they're paid..great.. So for 18 months I'm driving with just an expired photo license..waiting for a court date..

This doesn't really matter unless you get stopped of course......and of course was going to be stopped...I think I got a small speeding ticket once and when stopped explained the license situation to the cop, and no real problem, let me go with just the speeding fine, but then one morning on the way to work, the day before we're all due to ride 1000kms to Queensland for Purga Creek I get stopped on Victoria Rd , caught again by radar...Cop isn't very amused this time by my tale of woe with the RTA and confiscates my expired license. Forgets to write me the speeding ticket tho..! This however leaves me with a big problem, as we have a rule about runs and licenses and registrations.....ya gotta have them..

No choice but to go to the RTA and pay the fine so I've got some sort of license. Go down and wait and check how much I owe, yes still $1050. I ask if I can get my license issued once that's paid, and they tell me yes. This was before me and transaction cards, and over the limit anyway, so its up the bank for some cash.

Back down the RTA..(sounds quick doesnt it...) and dutifully hand over the dosh. Now I'll have my license please I say.  Fat little sausage fingers move like greased lightning on the keyboard for a couple of minutes, then inform me, "Youve got 17points up, we cant give you a license...!"  Then give me my money back ! I manage to just get out without expletives...you're f ing joking...!! I insist on seeing the manager and tell him what just happened. Long story short he cant do anything except see if they will give me a probationary license, but I cant find out till next week...

So off I go to Queensland the next day with no license, but a story that I hope will do when we get to Purga Creek and the inevitable blue reception committee ..!

Two days later and its time to run the gauntlet. Only 3 different squads want to check us out....First Sgt comes up and friendly enough, "Lets See your license" "I havent got one" says I, he grimaces...."but I've got a story!" says me, and pull out a sheaf of papers from the RTA, and start rabbitting on..."ok ok", he says and starts to move away, it was obviously too much trouble  to pursue thank Christ.....Then its another one from another anti theft or some such squad....."license.."  "aah Ive just explained to that bloke...."n I reply.. pointing to the first one, and he sort of nods and has a quick look at the bike and moves on...So somewhat miraculously I'm allowed to go and have another great weekend at Purga.

 A year or so later after all this happened it came out the RTA computer was fucked and a lot of incorrect ticketing had been on peoples records..bastards!

















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